"Behind every self-defeating behavior is a lie you're believing." – Pastor Rick Warren
Life transitions—whether stepping into a new career, ending a relationship, or rediscovering oneself after years of prioritizing others—often bring to the surface deep-seated beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. Many of these beliefs are lies we’ve unknowingly carried for years, and they show up in self-defeating behaviors that keep us stuck.
A Story of Transition: Lisa’s Hidden Belief
Lisa, a woman in her early fifties, found herself at a crossroads. With her children grown and her long-time corporate career feeling more suffocating than satisfying, she dreamed of starting her own business. Yet, every time she sat down to take action, she procrastinated. She found excuses—convincing herself she needed one more course, more money, or a better plan.
Through coaching, Lisa uncovered the hidden lie driving her self-doubt: "I’m too old to start over. I won’t be successful." This belief had kept her playing small, avoiding risk, and unknowingly sabotaging her dreams.
Below, we examine the beliefs Lisa confronted and how we started to transform them, enabling her to reclaim her power. These deeply rooted beliefs influenced her perceptions and reactions to different life situations. By scrutinizing and questioning these thoughts, Lisa discovered the truths hidden by her fears and assumptions. This aspect of the reframing process not only gave her clarity but also empowered her to redefine her story and adopt a more positive perspective on her experiences.
Reframing the Lie: 3 Empowering Truths
Lie: “I’m too old to start over.”Truth: “My life experience makes me uniquely qualified for this new path.” ✅ Flip it: List skills, wisdom, and strengths gained over the years. Every chapter of life prepares us for the next.
Lie: “I won’t be successful.”Truth: “Success is built step by step, and I am capable of learning and growing along the way.” ✅ Flip it: Redefine success. It’s not an overnight achievement; it’s the courage to keep moving forward.
Lie: “I need everything to be perfect before I begin.”Truth: “Taking imperfect action is the only way to gain clarity and confidence.” ✅ Flip it: Focus on small wins. Start before you’re ready, and adjust as you go.
The Power of Equine-Assisted Coaching: Transforming Beliefs
One of the most profound ways I’ve seen women uncover their hidden beliefs is through Equine-Assisted Coaching. Unlike traditional talk therapy, horses mirror our inner world without judgment.
I recall a session with a client who, like Lisa, struggled with self-doubt about stepping into a new chapter. She was asked to lead a horse through an obstacle course—a task that seemed simple on the surface. But as she approached, the horse refused to move. Frustration and hesitation took over. “He won’t listen to me,” she said.
I asked, “What if he’s responding to what you believe about yourself?”
She took a deep breath and admitted, “I don’t feel like a leader.”
At that moment, the truth clicked. The horse was simply reflecting the belief she carried: "I’m not strong enough to lead." With this awareness, she shifted her posture, set a clear intention, and tried again. This time, the horse followed her lead.
In just a few moments, the horse helped her see and challenge a lie that had been shaping her actions for years.
Final Thoughts: You Have the Power to Rewrite Your Story
The beliefs we hold shape our reality. But just because a thought feels true doesn’t mean it is. The next time you find yourself stuck, ask: What lie am I believing? Then, choose to reframe it into an empowering truth.
And if you’re ready to experience the profound clarity that comes from working with horses, I invite you to step into the round pen. You may be surprised at what you discover.
What self-defeating behavior are you ready to rewrite to create a life that is a reflection of your Soul? Let’s rewrite the story together.
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